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A Dad's Point of View: Being a Teenager Can Be Wonder-Full It?s so easy to complain about our teens. I know I?m guilty of too often dishing out criticisms, admonishments, and lectures. I worry that my boys might be doing drugs, drinking, or some other peer-pressure stupidity. But, they also deserve my support when they do well and my understanding when they slip up.
My 16-year-old, Will, recently bounded into my office, eager to talk. Wisely, I pulled away from the hypnotic lure of my computer, and faced him squarely, ready for whatever followed. Normally, when Will comes to talk to me, I am concerned that he either wants something or is going to confess something that I wish I didn?t have to hear. This time, I listened. And I listened and I listened. I smiled, I nodded, I grunted. But, mostly I listened. He had made a remarkable discovery! What was this remarkable revelation? ?Life is complicated and full of wonder and amazing things. Where did life come from? Why do we sleep? How does our brain work? Why are there different languages and how did they evolve?? He literally rambled off these and other subjects, as if he?d just discovered the wheel!
Will didn?t want me to offer any feedback: he just wanted to share with me his marvelous realizations. I just sat there and patiently let him passionately express these extraordinary questions. After maybe 15 minutes, he didn?t need me anymore and jumped up and left to call his girlfriend and share with her what he?d just voiced.
Later, as we were all getting ready for bed, he came into our bedroom, where my wife was lying down reading, and I had just come in to get ready for bed. He leaped on our chaise lounge, fell off to the side, and scrambled up laughing at his clumsiness. He then proclaimed, ?I love this family,? and proceeded to elaborate for a couple more minutes.
My wife and I actually wondered if Will had taken some drugs, as he seemed so high. But, he hadn?t, and was apparently just being a teenager--a teen enjoying the ?wonder-full-ness? of life.
That is my point. The older we get, the more we forget the wonder of youth, the wonder of being a teenager--discovering new worlds to explore and the new ideas that we feel are just ours. (Okay, let?s hear the Star Trek theme now).
Being a teenager means discovering the world. I think adults too often squash that sense of wonder with the desire to have our kids conform. That was my discovery during the short 18 months that I home-schooled Will, since the lack of conforming public school curriculum and class management allowed Will to learn so much more than he otherwise would have under the structure of public school. It?s why I believe home-schooling is really much better for some kids and, at the time, was the very best thing I could have done for Will.
The job of parents is to introduce our children to the world, to give them exposure to as much as we can, and to allow them to choose their paths. I know that early in my parenting, I had my ideas of what I wanted for my sons that were based on my own particular interests and desires. Fortunately, I got over that selfish instinct and ended up supporting my boys? own interests and dreams. I know too many parents that are single-minded in pushing their kids in the directions these parents think is best while not taking into consideration their kids interests, skills, and desires.
This is dramatically evident in the sports arena, where kids are sometimes literally forced to participate in a sport in which they have no interest. The reason is simply the parents? ego and vicarious desire to live through their kids. It is so wrong. We also see this in the over-the-top push that parents often inflict on their kids to excel at school so that they can get into this or that college that the parents deem best for their child.
I wonder if it ever occurred to those parents that their son or daughter might actually be better off with a year off between high school and college? Or, maybe not even going to college! Not every kid should go to college. Couldn?t college wait a year or two while these high school grads explore life on their own? Maybe they can see a bit more of the world rather than just continue in what can be the cocoon of education and parental (financial) support?
I may have wanted my sons to be great skiers, or get into an Ivy League college, but now I want them to fulfill their own passions and find the same joy in what they do that I?ve been blessed to find in my writing and now, my radio show as well. I urge you to do the same!
Please listen to ?The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad?s Point-of-View? Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://brucesallan.com. Bruce?s column, ?A Dad?s Point-of-View,? is available in over 75 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his ?A Dad?s Point-of-View? page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan.
If you'd like to contribute to the TMN blog, please email blogpost@themommiesnetwork.org
Child Seat Safety Follow Up This is such an important topic, the safety of our children. I wanted to post some information again in case you missed my original post.
We put our children in a car seat and many of us think that that's enough. But what if they aren't installed properly? Do you know your state laws regarding when a child can switch from a rear facing to a forward facing? Yea, you're probably not exactly sure. That's what the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is here for. They provide online resources that give us the ability to keep our children safe.
- Twitter: An actual safety expert mans the @ChildSeatSafety account on Twitter, and they will continue to answer any questions that parents have about child passenger safety. This is such a unique resource from a government agency!
- Facebook: NHTSA has a Facebook page at http://facebook.com/childpassengersafety where parents can learn about everything from LATCH to locating inspection offices.
- Website: The Ad Council and the NHTSA have created a site with all the resources parents need to keep their smallest passengers safe: http://childcarsafety.adcouncil.org/ Find your local inspection station, watch instructional videos, and even take a fun quiz!
Amy Lupold Bair, founder of Momfluence, is acting on behalf of NHTSA's child passenger safety efforts.
FREE Where the Wild Things Are Activity Guide This movie is such a hit right now. All the kids are talking about it. If you're like me you remember reading the book when you were younger, and probably reading it to your kids. But now there's a movie, like always. :) Gracie came home the other day telling me about her teacher reading the book to the class and the monsters they all made. She hasn't mentioned the movie yet...I'm sure it won't be long.
The National Wildlife Federation has teamed up with Where the Wild Things Are to launch the Be Out There campaign. This is a way for kids and families to connect with nature.
You can get a FREE printable Where the Wild Things Are Activity guide here.
Are you looking for a new job opportunity? Do you have great organizational and people skills? Are you looking for a part-time or full-time job that is flexible and fun that helps moms in your community? If so, The Mommies Network wants to hire someone just like you!
TMN Sponsorship Account Executive This is a TMN position. There are no membership pre-requisites required to apply. The Mommies Network is growing and as part of that growth, we need some good people in your market to help with sponsorships.
The Sponsorship Account Executive should be organized, have great time management skills, feel comfortable contacting local business and building relationships to find sponsors for the local site. This can be accomplished through phone calls, emails, and face to face appointments.
SAEs will be compensated with bonuses based upon successful sponsorship contracts and there are tremendous growth opportunities as the network continues to grow. If you are interested please send your resume to Rachelle Watkins: rachelle (at) themommiesnetwork (dot) org.
Save Lids to Save Lives Make a difference in the fight against breast cancer. By participating in Yoplait?s Save Lids to Save Lives, they will donate 10 cents to Susan G. Komen for the CureŽ for every pink lid sent in by December 31, 2009, up to $1.5 million, with a guaranteed donation of $500,000.
Log on to YourLidMatters.com and start your own lid collection team. Print this coupon for $1.00 off YoPlus or YoPlus Light (with the pink lids) and start collecting! YoPlus just joined the cause with four lids in each pack. Help us prove that every lid does matter!
